When I was ten years old, my sister Cassie and I attended a two weeklong nature retreat one summer in the mountains of North Carolina. The Green River Preserve. This camp was truly transformative in so many ways, and I can’t wait to incorporate what we learned into my parenting style with my own children one day between hiking for hours after breakfast, wildlife tracking, eating what you grow from the garden, playing under waterfalls, crawling through caves, composting our food, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my little mermaid life living here in Wilmington North Carolina by the shimmering sea of sapphire on the coast. Oh, how the living water is simply so grand, but the vast emerald curvature of the mountains just hits different.
The serenity, and the abundance of growth that surrounds you, the highs and the lows. The mountains truly make you feel oh so tiny. Each hill humbling your soul to the core. To step on the earth and be connected to all that is, it’s pure magic.
I’ll never forget packing for this trip. My parents bought me my first ever “hiking” backpack. It’s timeless, and I still use it to this day almost two decades later which certainly helps me to stay connected to this sweet earthy part of myself.
I remember taking our family RV up to the mountains to be dropped off for two weeks and being told by my parents that we couldn’t have our cell phones.
This was frightening to me. Being so far from home, staying in the middle of the woods, and not having a phone to contact my parents. Eerie, but clearly, I didn’t have a choice. I also think there is something to be said about moving toward your fears and away from your comfort zone. In this space is where growth and transformation takes place.
At this time in my life, all I could use the phone for was to call my parents if I needed to in case of emergencies. My version of an emergency back then was any question I had that I deemed as urgent, lol. I mean how underwhelming to think about sitting around waiting to get kidnapped to finally have the opportunity to use my pink bedazzled for in case of emergencies only flip phone? Totally joking, but yes, I definitely called my parents probably far more than they would have liked, and anyone else’s number they programmed in my phone for that matter if I’m being completely honest here.
I used to feel official holding it up to my ear. Like I was ten going on twenty-five. Or picture the meme of the man with the Bluetooth device in his ear with his arms crossed, yup, goals. Ahhh that little screen; my first unconscious addiction, how lovely.
I’m almost positive that this was back when texting costed money, so texting was out of the question. Man, I’d love to bring this energy back, but in a whole new light like: hey guys, my name’s Carlie and I only text back if it’s an emergency.
I took pictures on it of course. I would love to see those now. Pictures on flip phones or razors are kind of iconic.
It just dawned on me that I turned this little pink flip phone into an art print, so it’s in my office. If I found the right charger for it, I probably could get it on, lol.
Anyways, we were dropped off at the Green River Preserve where we would stay in our cabins in the woods with around ten other girls. I was separated from my sister Cassie. She was a few cabins further down in the woods with her own age group.
This was a bit nerve wracking to be so far away and out of touch with everyone and everything that I knew back home growing up in suburbia on a golf course. My grandparents lived in the country and as amazing as this was and as much as we adored being out there, even this felt foreign and isolated at times. So being in the middle of the mountains in a cabin didn’t feel isolated, it felt alienated.
I soon learned we would barely be in the cabins other than to sleep, our schedules were so jam packed between eating, composting, hiking, fly fishing, gardening, archery, knitting, and exploring amongst so much more!
We were eating fresh foods grown in the garden, and there wasn’t a screen in sight. It’s hilarious to think about the hesitation of having my phone stripped from me, whereas these days I would pay big money to have a nature retreat in the woods force me to hand my phone over so that I could be fully immersed in exploring and the present moment.
I lived a completely different lifestyle out there for those two weeks. It was magnificent. I began to fall in love and couldn’t fathom going back home and leaving this new lifestyle behind. Little did I know, parts of the lifestyle I would carry home with me. Some would remain in my heart forever, while others I keep tucked away in my back pocket.
Back home I was used to streetlights, Wii Sports, Disney Channel, and toilets. Let’s not forget the toilets, lol.
There were toilets of course at The Green River Preserve, but we were in the woods so often, hiking, or camping that we would use a small shovel to dig a hole opposed to a toilet if you had to poop. You were instructed to walk further in the woods to do this, away from group.
I never wanted the group to know, so I personally never asked for the shovel, lol. I would just walk super far from everyone else when back home I was used to walking eight feet to the bathroom where the door locked. Upon returning home I gained the heightened awareness that toilets aren’t necessarily necessity, but luxary. There are many people across the globe who don’t even have running water or electricity.
Exploring in the creeks and streams was also a highlight of my time there at GRP. I wasn’t the best at fly fishing, but I could knit like nobody’s business.
I will never forget the night of the outdoor spiritual ceremony. Maybe it wasn’t called this, I can’t exactly remember, but what it consisted of certainly made it a ceremonial type of gathering. This night would go on to impact me profoundly and shape me into the hippie I am and what I enjoy doing to this day.
There was a stillness in the air about this particular night as we were all led from our cabins to the gathering. Energetically I thought this to be quite strange, simply because a camp with this many kids was usually buzzing with noise and the exchange of laughter.
As we were led into the woods, we waited in a single file line and there was some sort of smoke that each kid walked through before finding their seats around the fire. I remember being so confused I as approached this strange smog. I had never seen anything like this before.
Did we have to walk through it? I wondered.
Or, what if I can’t breathe?
There were Native Americans I didn’t recognize wearing intricate headdresses with beautiful elaborate feathers administering what I now know as “smudging”. Smudging involves burning dried sage (or other herbs like cedar or sweetgrass) and using the smoke to purify a person, space, or object.
The Native Americans smudged us down one by one creating a ritualistic atmosphere, and I slowly anticipated my turn as I grew more and more excited. I knew instantly that this ceremonial practice had to of dated back centuries ago because I had never seen anything like this in modern day. At least not at ten years old. This was truly my first ever spiritual ceremony with emphasis on healing, mindfulness, and connectivity.
Once I stepped up they waved the sage around me, the earthy smoke filled my nostrils and lungs. There was a gentle sweetness and a faint resinous smell, akin to the scent of pine or cedar. I loved it, and I had never smelled anything like it. It relaxed me almost instantly drawing me into my body entirely as this mindfulness practice requires you to be present in the here and now.
Beyond its scent that I simply wanted to be doused in, sage is believed to have energetic cleansing properties in various spiritual traditions. The act of smudging is thought to clear negative energy and promote a sense of renewal and positivity.
Afterwords I found a seat on a log while I watched the other children pour in one by one. Whispers and giggles being exchanged as this experience was certainly a first for many, but the tone of the night was that of a peaceful one.
This resonated deeply with my soul, even as a child because I am someone that either enjoys to sit back and observe my surroundings or be caught up in deep and meaningful conversation.
I watched my little sister Cassie come in with her new friends, and I’d be surprised if she even noticed me. Cassie makes friends so easily and effortlessly; she truly knows no stranger.
I felt at peace for once in my life being encouraged not to talk and to take in and observe the nature that surrounds us. Not to be forced into surface level conversation that I’ve always struggled to make, but for once to be able to sit in silence with my soul and not feel weird or awkward in doing so.
The atmosphere they were creating for us between the sage, the drum circle, the fire, and the stories brought about deep introspection and presence. Drumming with its rhythmic heartbeat-like pulses encouraged us to listen to our own internal rhythms and emotions. I feel so blessed to have experienced this at such a young age.
This experience was the spark inside of me that would become a burning fire of passion that seeks these experiences out in everyday life. These practices also facilitate meaningful connections with others in the community or ceremony. Whether it be a journaling session, yoga class, cacao ceremony, group guided meditation, forest bathing, or hiking with friends I am there.
With my natural born ability to public speak, four years ago I decided I wanted to start creating these healing spaces for others. Leading group guided meditations around the community has enriched my life in more ways than one. Some of my most treasured friends to this day are women that came up to me and introduced themselves after I guided them.
I am a Christian, and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with engaging in activities that help you to feel closer to God while simultaneously appreciating our planet and recognizing that we are more than human beings, we are spiritual beings. No matter what your soul resonates with, everybody can truly implement these practices into their lives. Many of these practices are integrated into all regions across the globe which is cool to think about.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my church, but this certainly isn’t the only place that I find God or can feel him. He is there in the picture that I’m painting, the delicious food that I’m cooking, the book that I’m reading, or the blog that I’m writing.
He’s there with the loss of a loved one, or the birth of a new child. He’s in the whistles of the wind, and the waves steady crashing onto the shore. He is always there.
This camp has acted as a catalyst into my own personal healing journey. Spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, and journaling began to help me immensely after losing my father almost five years ago to suicide. They weren’t necessarily for feel good fun anymore, they were survival mode for me during a dark period of my life where I had to go within if I ever wanted to begin to heal.
Ultimately, I am just so beyond grateful for the tools the Green River Preserve has provided me with. I will never forget my time here for as long as I live, and I can’t wait to go back soon and connect with all the alumni. You can look at the GRP and all they have to offer at the link below.
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